The soldier, Inman, is trying to fight his way home through the fog of (civil) war. Ada, his chaste and faithful lover, awaits him, while fending off rapacious intruders at her home place in Cold Mountain. Writer-director Anthony Mingella once again demonstrates his inability to create a satisfying dramatic arc (or characters that can hold the screen). The result is a plodding, epic-scale exercise in masochism — deep-dish movie making at its toneless worst.
Epic times call for epic art, and nothing moved us more than The Return of the King. Other things we loved: Louis Vuitton, William Boyd and BBC's The Office And to the Atlanta group OutKast, we say "Stank you very much!"